Fragments of a Lifetime
by A-Little-Bit-Of-Awesomeness
Summary: A oneshot for every year of Leonard's life. No pairings, but there are lots of different characters in this story. -On hiatus-
1. 1980

**Author's Note: I'm very excited about this story! Like all of my stories, I will write the chapters as I go along, although this time I have planned out approximately what will be in every chapter. However, if you have any suggestions or things that you would like me to include just mention it in your review and I'll try my best to add it in.**

**I will still be working on my other TBBT story Confessions of a Grad Student, but I think this story will be updated more often. Obviously reviews will motivate me but I am mainly motivated by how much I enjoy writing fanfiction. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these oneshots and it would mean the world to me if you took the time to review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Big Bang Theory or any of the characters, although I wish I do!**

**1980**

It was a warm Sunday morning in June a few weeks after Leonard was born. Due to the fact that he had been born quite prematurely, he was still in hospital. However, fortunately his condition was now just about stable enough for visitors which was why it has taken until this morning for Leonard's Aunt Edna, Uncle Floyd and his grandmother whose first name was Marianne, to meet their new addition to the family.

"So, come on! Was it another girl, or a boy?" Edna asks her brother in law Marshall; Leonard's father.

"Well, I'm sure you are aware that we were particularly hoping for..." Marshall starts enthusiastically.

"We had a boy," Beverly states flatly, fiddling with her pearl necklace. Her tone suggests that she is unhappy with this, however she had been hoping to have a son so that the family experiment is balanced; one girl and one boy."Although why you didn't tell everyone earlier remains an enigma."

"It was going to be a surprise," he mutters quietly. Despite being in a relationship with Beverly for many years, she still sometimes surprised him with her lack of social understanding at times like this.

"Oh, that's wonderful! It would obviously have been lovely either way, but as you already have a daughter it's always nice to have one of each," Marianne smiles, hugging her daughter Beverly despite her protests.

Sensing a bit of tension between his wife and her mother, Marshall changes the subject and guides everyone through the hospital.

"Right everyone, he's just through here. Before we enter, I shall just warn you now that the nurses want us all to keep quiet around here because there are infants asleep," Marshall informs them as he gently pushes the door open.

"Only four people are allowed in at a time. There are five of us, which means that one of us must stay behind and wait outside until another of us swaps with them," Beverly tells them in a tone that suggests that she is talking to a group of four year olds. "I will see you all later."

"Don't go, Beverly. Look, as his mother you are obliged to go in and see him," Floyd intervenes.

"Why? I have seen my son before," Beverly frowns confusedly.

"I am under the impression that it is a non-optional social convention that the parents, if present, should introduce the rest of the family to their new son or daughter and take an interest in doing so. Therefore, I will wait outside for a few minutes and then someone can swap with me," Floyd tells Beverly sharply. Being her brother, he has learned to talk to her in a way that she will understand, just like you would use different words while talking to an adult compared to a toddler. He leaves the ward and the four family members left gather around Leonard's incubator. He appears to be in a very deep sleep and he shows no sign of waking up any time soon. His little body is wired up with various tubes.

"Poor little thing. Have you decided on a name for him yet?" Marianne questions as she pushes her thick-lensed glasses up.

"I doubt you could have asked a more predictable question. A person's name is possibly our most significant form of identification, however as Shakespeare once stated in the second act of his play Romeo and Juliet; 'A rose by any other name would smell as sweet'," Beverly comments abruptly, ignoring her new son and his incubator completely.

"To answer Marianne's original question, we have named him Leonard," Marshall announces brightly. "His middle name is Leakey."

"I gather that his middle name was chosen due to your work with British anthropologist Louis Leakey a few years back, am I correct?" Edna questions, putting her shoulder-length hair into a high bun. She knows that she must be correct, but she rarely has an opportunity to 'show off' to her brother in law Marshall so she thought she would make the most of it.

"Yes you are. Leakey is a brilliant man and it was truly an honour to work with an anthropologist as accomplished as him. We decided that it was fitting to name our son after him," Marshall explains.

"I couldn't agree more," Marianne agrees. She glances around and realises that someone, apart from Floyd, is missing. "Marshall, where's your daughter?"

"Charlotte is in the capable hands of her Uncle Clark, your son. We, well mainly Beverly, came to the decision that although my parents are coming to meet Leonard this afternoon, our Charlotte should wait until we take Leonard home before she can meet him. He is very fragile and we doubt that such a little girl would be able to comprehend the situation," Marshall answers. "We will introduce her to Leonard as soon as we can."

Beverly, who has been reading the medical documents regarding Leonard that one of his doctors had given her earlier, wanders back to her family.

"We can't introduce her to Leonard _sooner _than we can," Beverly points out. For the first time since she has entered the ward, she looks down at Leonard through the thick incubator glass. He is so stock still that anyone would assume that he was dead if his tiny, weak chest wasn't rising and falling. "Charlotte was ready to leave the hospital two days after she was born. She was never this needy," she remarks bitterly.

"I know, Bev. From what you have informed us, there's enough neediness to write a book about, but in a few more weeks I'm sure Leonard will be ready for you to take home," Edna consoles. Beverly winces slightly at the shortening of her name. _Enough neediness to write a book about..._ she ponders to herself. She is already planning to continue writing and publish various papers about their family experiment, why not write a book specifically about each child? Leonard's 'neediness' appears to her as an excellent subject for a publication.

"Dr Hofstadter?" A brunette nurse calls and comes over to them. The four Dr Hofstadters look up and even Dr Floyd Hofstadter pops his head around the door. The nurse is clearly a little taken aback.

"You'll have to be more specific," Beverly tells her needlessly.

"Okay. Which of you is the mother?" The nurse asks nervously, fiddling with her high ponytail.

"Unfortunately me," Beverly answers with a sigh.

"I'm afraid that it may take longer than we had anticipated before Leonard will be able to go home. His condition is now stable but he is still very weak," she informs softly. Her eyes show that she is worried, something that Beverly doesn't seem to be.

* * *

A while later, Floyd and everyone were leaving so that Leonard could continue to sleep in peace. As soon as his mother left the ward, Leonard's eyelids fluttered open.


	2. 1981

**1981  
**

After shutting the door firmly behind Leonard's nanny, Beverly climbs the stairs to check on Leonard. It was a cold Thursday in November and she had only arrived home about five minutes ago. The nanny had informed her that Charlotte was with her little brother upstairs in his bedroom. Sure enough, her two children are both in his bedroom and to Beverly's horror, Charlotte was giving Leonard a gentle_ cuddle_. Oh yes, a _cuddle_. A vital part of her family experiment was to see how a severe lack of affection will effect a typical boy and a typical girl. As soon as Beverly steps towards them, Charlotte stops whatever she was whispering softly to her little brother and places him carefully back in his cot.

"Charlotte, what on earth do you think you are doing with..."

"Mommy!"

The females turn to stare at Leonard, who is grinning from ear to ear. He has never spoken before so they have just witnessed his very first word. Soon, the cuddle is forgotten. They both can see that he is very proud of his achievement, but they both have completely different reactions.

"Well done, Leonard! Aren't you clever?" Charlotte beams cheerfully. Leonard beams back at her.

"Leonard, I am your Mother and I wish to be referred to as such. To be called 'Mommy' is very dis-satisfactory and I am ashamed that you have selected such an average word to be your very first statement to society. 'Mommy', indeed," Beverly chastises coldly. Leonard's smile begins to disappear as she goes on to lecture his sister about the cuddle. As she becomes increasingly annoyed at her children, the atmosphere in the room becomes increasingly icy. Leonard begins to cry.

On the rare occasion that he is alone with his older sister, she will often show him some sisterly affection as neither of them have any affection from any other family member, except for occasionally their Uncle Floyd.

However, after the lecture that their mother gave Charlotte she would be too intimidated to be affectionate towards her little brother for a very, very long time. The sound of keys in the front door downstairs distracts the three of them.

* * *

Despite the frosty weather outside, Marshall Hofstadter was in a good mood as he arrives home from work. He is a little later than usual because he had wanted to finish a paper that he is formulating at work. Unfortunately, Marshall has underestimated the workload and he was sure that Beverly would be home before him, which is an unusual occurrence. This is a problem due to the fact that Leonard's nanny and Beverly didn't exactly see eye to eye.

"You are precisely twenty one minutes late. Who is she?" Beverly asks as soon as her husband pushes the front door open.

"Well, 'she' is a paper that I have just completed regarding... I know you are not vaguely interested in the details of my career in anthropology but it was very important that I complete it to the absolute best of my ability," Marshall explains, hanging his long tartan coat up and taking his tan brown brogues off.

"Very well. Nevertheless, your tardiness (however justified) left me having to deal with the nanny by myself which is not something I wish to endure for a second time," she counters as she gives her husband a sharp look over the top of her glasses.

"Oh Beverly, you didn't upset her again did you? With both of us working the amount that we do, a nanny is certainly a requirement. You and I both know how long it took us to find a nanny who lives locally and is trustworthy, comfortable with attending to Leonard's medical needs and fine with..." He sighs deeply. "... not showing Leonard any affection whatsoever apart from holding him to pick him up or carry him when necessary. "

"I doubt that I _upset_ her as such, but I confirmed with her that Leonard was not too be given any affection at all and she nearly walked out on us. Not to worry though, I have raised her wages a little so she will stay," Beverly informs him as he puts the kettle on. "Talking of too much affection, earlier I walked into Leonard's bedroom and found Charlotte..."

At this point Charlotte, a little girl around six years old with light brown hair similar to her mother's and blue eyes behind her black rimmed glasses, bounces into the kitchen.

"You're home!" Charlotte giggles as she skips over to Marshall. She goes to hug him but then pulls back as soon as she remembers that affection is not accepted within her family.

"Hello there, Charlotte. How was school today?" Marshall smiles.

"Okay, I guess. But when I came home, Mother and I heard Leonard say his first word!"

"That's quite a development. Why didn't you mention it, Beverly?" He asks his wife slightly irritably. If it had been the other way around, Marshall would have told her about Leonard's first word as soon as she had come home.

"It wasn't anything ground-breaking. He just said 'Mommy' when I entered his bedroom, but I cannot believe my son started speaking with such a basic word. If he had to refer to me with his first utterance of speech, I would have preferred him to say 'Mother' which I will make sure he does once he starts talking properly," Beverly sighs disappointedly.

"I see. Do you think we could try and see if he can say anything else?" Marshall suggests excitedly. He wishes he had been there for such a landmark in Leonard's early life.

"I don't think he'll speak again for a while. When he said 'Mommy', Mother lectured him and told him that he should have said 'Mother' instead. He looked real scared and he started crying, so I think it'll be a while until he speaks again," Charlotte tells Marshall absent-mindedly, pulling her crimson ribbons out of her plaits. Marshall gave Beverly a look as if to say 'why would you do that?'

"Marshall, he has to learn how to talk."

"Beverly, he has to be able to talk without fear."

"I was not attempting to use fear as a disciplinary method," she claims. Charlotte feels the tension and scurries out of the kitchen clutching her ribbons.

"Without necessarily meaning to, you can be intimidating at times. I also know that you enjoy making people feel uncomfortable, but our eighteen month old son who is only just learning to talk is not the person to make uncomfortable," Marshall informs.

From his cot in his bedroom upstairs, Leonard could hear his parents talking about what happened earlier. He had been so proud of himself and so excited when he first spoke, but his mother's sharp voice as she told him to call her Mother not Mommy had scared him. Even now, he isn't sure if he should say anything when she next sees him. He decides that he will attempt to speak again, but when his father is around instead of his mother. She had shattered his hope that he would impress her, but he will keep trying. He will impress her, no matter what it takes.


	3. 1982

**1982**

Beverly Hofstadter holds the letter firmly in her hand. Leonard's current nanny (nanny number seven) had given her the letter a minute or two ago, as soon as Beverly had returned from her work and she had slammed the letter down dramatically on the table in the kitchen, before marching out confidently into the August heat. Befuddled, Beverly sits down and reads the beginning of the letter.

_Dr Hofstadter,_

_RE: My Resignation_

_I regret to inform you that I am resigning from my position as your son's nanny. This has nothing to do with Leonard, as he is a bright and very well behaved baby despite his neediness. In fact, I am leaving this job because of you and-_

It isn't necessary for Beverly to continue reading; she has read six of these letters before, all from different nannies. They all begin with the usual formalities, before complementing Leonard and his good behaviour with a slightly negative reference to his neediness and/or medical needs. It goes on to forget any attempts at formality and simply insult/criticize her parental skills. She scans briefly over this part and sees the normal remarks:

_Apparently no maternal instinct... all children need affection... why are you so... I shouldn't have to put up with... even your husband seems to disagree with..._

She smiles as she sees her personal favourite that crops up in every letter without fail:

_You claim that you're a psychologist, but surely a psychologist would know better than to psychologically damage their children!_

Beverly rolls her eyes and folds the letter neatly six times. She is a _psychiatrist_, not a _psychologist_.

It was not really a choice to create the family experiment, because even if she had not done it the results would have been the same. She was not suppressing maternal instinct; she simply had none. Long before she had considered the family experiment, Beverly wanted to have children that are highly intelligent, intellectual academics and this was simply her way of going about it. That's what she decided years ago that she was going to get, no matter what it took.

The only negative feeling that the letter gave her was that she now had the problematic task of selecting a new nanny. She sighs at the thought of the challenge and drops the folded letter delicately in the silver mesh waste paper bin. Until a new nanny is employed, Beverly will have to look after her children with the help of her family. Today is a Friday, which means that she has the weekend without having to go to work (although she often chooses to) to be able to find a nanny before the next working week. For now however, she will have to deal with her children's needs.

Firstly, Beverly has to pick up Charlotte from her orchestra rehearsal, which she plays the clarinet in. She would ask Marshall to do this tedious task for her, however he is attending a meeting at Princeton University where they both work. Sighing, she realises that she will have to bring Leonard with her as she cannot leave him on his own.

"Leonard," she calls, striding into the living room where her son is playing with his alphabet blocks. He looks up at her wide-eyed and points excitedly at his alphabet blocks.

"Mother, look what I did! I put them in colours," Leonard chatters happily. He has been preparing for this all afternoon, checking that the colour groups are all definitely right for the last half an hour. After trying to impress his mother with his very first word last November, he has attempted many different things to impress her (including learning to say 'Mother' as his second word) but as yet nothing has worked.

"Notify me when you have spelt some words, that is the purpose of alphabet blocks," Beverly replies sharply, sweeping past him and putting his toys away neatly into a drawer. She doesn't notice the way that his face drops. He is used to being disappointed, but it never gets any easier. He toddles after her and continues to chatter incoherently. "Shoes on, we have to go."

"Where?"

"We are going to collect your sister from her orchestra rehearsal. Hurry up Leonard," Beverly orders as she waits for him to get his shoes on.

"Mother, I can't do it. Help me," he pleads, sitting on the last step of the staircase in the hallway. Usually, his father or nanny would do up his shoes for him, but of course neither of them are around. Beverly kneels down, avoiding his eye contact and ties his shoelaces tightly. She slips on her smart black shoes and picks him up. Leonard snuggles into her shoulder as she carries him to the car.

The drive to Charlotte's school was silent apart from Leonard's rambling. His mother didn't particularly respond as she was concentrating on arriving to pick up her daughter on time. Due to the nanny complications, Charlotte should have been picked up by the nanny fifteen minutes ago and Beverly detests being late. Unfortunately, by the time they reach her school the car park is empty apart from three other cars that are dotted about, presumably owned by the administrative staff.

"Wait here, Leonard and don't get into any trouble. I shall return as soon as I find Charlotte," Beverly tells him as she climbs out of the car. After checking that the car windows are all closed, she marches into reception to see the head of the school orchestra and music department, Mrs Martinez putting some sheet music away into her bag.

"Hello there! I'm guessing you're Mrs Hofstadter, Charlotte's Mom?" Mrs Martinez asks brightly.

"_Dr_ Hofstadter, but yes. I apologise for my tardiness, which I can promise is not a personality trait of mine, however my two year old son's nanny has just resigned out of the proverbial blue and she was meant to be collecting Charlotte," Beverly explains seriously.

"Not to worry, I understand. I have lots of trouble with my youngest daughter's nanny, you'll never guess what she said to me last-"

"I do not have the time or interest to engage in menial pleasantries with you. Where's Charlotte?"

"She's just over there, M- _Dr_ Hofstadter," Mrs Martinez responds, nodding to behind Beverly. She turns around to see Charlotte sitting quietly in one of the blue reception chairs. She's swinging her legs and looking down at her Mary Janes.

"Charlotte, we need to go. Thank you for keeping an eye on her, Mrs Martinez," Beverly thanks coldly. She leaves the reception, Charlotte following her.

"You're welcome," Mrs Martinez calls after her. She can't help noticing that Dr Hofstadter is decidedly _not_ maternal and downright cold and she wonders how she chose to be a mother when she didn't seems vaguely interested in her daughter.

"Mother, why did Leonard's nanny quit?" Charlotte questions as they approach the car.

"You are too young to understand and even if you were older, details of resignation are strictly kept between the employer and employee," she answers. She is about the reach into her handbag for her car keys, but she realises that her handbag is gone. "I appear to have misplaced my bag."

"It's on the passenger seat, Mother," Charlotte gasps. "What about the car keys? How are we going to get in?"

Beverly stares into her car and sees, just like Charlotte told her, her black and white leather handbag on the passenger seat. She also sees Leonard looking up at her from the back of the car. Her daughter attempts to open the car door, but it has automatically locked.

"We need to call your father as he has the spare car keys for my car. He will have driven home from work by now, so we shall call our house," Beverly responds as calmly as she can. Deep down, she can't believe that she has locked herself out of her car and that Leonard is now trapped inside.

"Mother, shall I look after Leonard and make sure he stays calm while you call Father? I think one of the office people will let you borrow a phone," Charlotte offers. However, her mother has other ideas.

"No, Charlotte. I will look after Leonard and the car, while you go into reception and ask to use a phone. Don't be long, I'll see you in a minute," Beverly instructs.

"Yes, Mother."

Charlotte hurries into her school as Beverly waits impatiently beside her car. She can't help feeling humiliated by the fact that she has made a mistake like this.

Worriedly, Leonard watches her pace backwards and forwards outside the car. He can tell that something is wrong, but he couldn't hear what she was saying to Charlotte so he is unsure what's happening. What he does know is that his mother and sister should be inside the car and that he is still alone. He feels isolated, lonely and confused, so he starts crying.

"Leonard, it is your father who has to come all the way here and hand us the keys, Charlotte who has to call him and explain, and I who has to keep an eye on you. Why are you the one who is becoming upset? Please compose yourself at once," Beverly calls to him through the window glass. He tries to stop crying but his mother's stern expression and muffled words are so intimidating to him but he keeps sobbing. They wait, without talking to each other until Charlotte hurries back from calling her father.

"Father says that he'll be here as soon as he can and that he wants to know if Leonard is okay," Charlotte informs her, looking into the car. "Mother, Leonard's crying!"

"I am well aware of that, Charlotte. Did the office staff allow you to use the phone without too much trouble?" Beverly asks her. Her daughter is distracted by Leonard's tears, but she manages to answer.

"Yeah, but I didn't like it because the phone wire was all tangled and I like things neat," Charlotte tells her. Beverly notices, not for the first time, that Charlotte seems to be showing early signs of having OCD. Her daughter smiles reassuringly at Leonard to show him that everything's going to be fine and his crying quietens down a little.

A while later, Marshall arrives at the school. He is surprised at the fact that Beverly made a mistake like this and even more surprised at why she has picked Charlotte up from her orchestra rehearsal. As Marshall parks his car, he sees Charlotte clutching her clarinet case and looking worriedly into the back seat of the car where he supposes that Leonard is. To anyone else, Beverly would appear as cool and collected but to her husband he can see the flicker of concern in her eyes.

"Don't worry everyone, Superman's here to save the day!" Marshall grins as he pulls the car's spare keys out of the pocket of his corduroy trousers with a flourish. As Beverly usually makes him look like an idiot, it is a rare occasion that he can 'save the day' and he's going to make the most of it.

"Father! Thanks for coming, Leonard wouldn't stop crying," Charlotte greets cheerfully.

"Yes, I suppose thanks have been earned today," Beverly states. They both look expectantly at Beverly. "Thank you," she continues stiffly.

"You're very welcome, Beverly," Marshall accepts gratefully. Giving /accepting thanks would be a normal interaction for most families but it was unusual for the Hofstadter family. He opens one of the car doors and reaches gently inside. He softly strokes Leonard's fluffy brown hair and whispers. "It's all right now Leonard, I'm here."

Beverly watches intently, but after the panic in her mind while Leonard was trapped, she allows it. She knows that Marshall knows better than to pick Leonard up and give him a proper cuddle. They watch as Leonard gives his father a tearful smile and snuffles rather than sobs. It was a little gesture, but it meant the world to both Marshall and Leonard.


End file.
